Magister Illyrio’s Dubious Mushrooms

“Mushrooms,” the magister announced, as the smell wafted up. “Kissed with garlic and bathed in butter. I am told the taste is exquisite. Have one, my friend. Have two.” -A Dance with Dragons

Black Mushrooms, take 2

Our Thoughts:

This dish proved to be more of an adventure than we anticipated.

We looked in several markets for black mushrooms, without success. Then, brilliance. I went to our local Asian supermarket, and cast about until I found an entire aisle filled with dried mushrooms. This, surely, was the perfect place to obtain suitably sketchy mushrooms. The winning bag reads, “Superior Quality Dried Fungus”, and beat out both the “AAA Dried Fungus” and the merely “High Quality Dried Fungus”.

Having obtained my dubious black mushrooms, I returned home to experiment.

They were horrible. I tried to prepare them many different ways, only to be met with the incontrovertable fact that the texture is simply unbearable. The butter and garlic just slipped right off the rubbery mushrooms, leaving us with a wholly unappetizing dish.

The second take is what you see above, and is wholly delicious. They might not have the same dubious backstory to go with them, but the trade off for great flavor is well worth it. Plump mushrooms bursting with butter and garlic- does it get better?

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The Hound’s Ideal Meal

Unlike our previous character themed meals, there was a lot of consensus about the Hound’s ideal meal: Nothing fancy, a cheap cut of meat, bitter drinks, and possibly a lemoncake or two for dessert. Kathleen summed it up well, stating that the meal “should be charbroiled, unpretentious, and drowned in a sea of wine”.

We liked where a lot of you went with game meat, what with Sandor being a “hound”. The subtle poetry of hound and quarry was too appealing to resist. So, game meat it was, and we chose venison and rabbit. True, in our Middle Ages, only the nobility could hunt, but are you about to stand between the Hound and his meal? Didn’t think so.

Our grill was recently stolen, right off our porch. Otherwise we’d do a spit roasted rabbit to go with the meal. Barring that, though, we swapped in some oven roasted rabbit legs alongside the venison sausages.

A big question was whether to sear the meat, or no. Personally, we liked the idea, but could see how the Hound might not. So, we hedged our bets, searing the lamb, then hiding the evidence by braising. :) We also liked the idea of lamb, because while Sandor might be a Hound, he’s also more than a bit wolfish. Lamb shank it was, then.

Both Kate Quinn and Irian suggested bone marrow, which we loved. It evokes the image of a big mastiff gnawing on a bone in front of the fire, and also ties in with Random’s thought that “Joffrey would probably find it amusing to throw his dog a bone.” Ours is topped with applewood smoked salt.

For smaller sides, we liked Frank’s suggestion of beans thick with molasses, and Duckchick’s of sharp cheese with apples, for the Hound’s sharp words.

Our final bill of fare: black bread, bone marrow, leg of lamb, venison sausages, rabbit legs, savory beans and sharp cheese, wilted greens, and rustic lemoncakes.

Our Thoughts:

Good Lord. Or the Seven. Or any other deity the Hound probably doesn’t believe in…

This is a fantastic meal.

It is obviously very heavy on the meat, but given the fighter’s lifestyle that the Hound leads, this makes sense. The three meats- lamb, venison, and rabbit- all give amazingly rich flavors to the meal. Of course, it helps that we braised the lamb and then the rabbit in mead and molasses. The venison sausage already has port in it, so each of the meats has essentially been cooked in/with booze. Even the vegetables have been braised in mead, along with the lamb, so they’re incredibly tender and tasty. And the bread! Also made with beer.

The rustic lemoncakes are a much lighter finish to a very heavy meal, and you’ll probably only have room for a couple of them.

Our drinks consultant recommends a beer made with juniper to pair with the meat dishes, in the style of a traditional Finnish Sahti. A couple good examples of this are Huvila Arctic Circle Ale and Lammin Kataja. Another interesting pairing would be a rauchbier, such as Spezial and Schlenkerla, given that the smokiness would pair particularly well with the molasses beans and cheddar.

Honorable Mention:

Chris’s suggestion of black and white truffles to represent the duality of his nature (only if you’re buying!)
Wildling, Selkie, and Julia’s suggestions of “little birds”. We’ve got something else planned for those, though… ;)
Irian’s list of other cheap meats, including like black pudding, head cheese, ox tongue, lard, goose fat and bacon
Richard’s suggestion of “Black Dog” wines, especially if served on a yellow tablecloth
roussefolle’s wonderful ideas, just exotic enough to be Westeros, amazingly delicious
Verity’s suggestion of Baked Alaska for dessert, first for the irony of a flambe, and also because they can be made to look like a mountain, and the Hound would enjoy symbolically demolishing and devouring a Mountain

Snow White’s Enchanted Apples

The poisoned apple that Snow White is tricked into eating is the most famous of her evil stepmother’s devious tricks, and perhaps even the most famous fairy tale symbol of all. As all things come in threes, the other two tricks were a too-tight corset, and a poisoned hair comb, neither of which makes good eating… These versions of that apple are not poisonous, but have an appropriately sinister sheen and color. Usually found exclusively at autumn festivals, these are perfect party treats for either of the new Snow White movies coming out in the next few months.

Snow White’s Enchanted Apples

Makes 8 apples

Prep: 5 minutes * Cooking: 20 minutes

Ingredients:

8 medium sized apples
8 twigs, trimmed, or wood skewers
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
½ cup water
½ cup red cinnamon candies
Black food coloring to preference

Wash and dry the apples. Insert a twig into the end of each apple and set apples aside. Cover a large baking sheet with foil, then grease the foil.

Combine sugar, corn syrup and water in a saucepan over medium heat until sugar has dissolved. Boil until the syrup reaches 250° F on a candy thermometer. Add the cinnamon candies and stir briefly to incorporate. Remove from heat and stir until the mixture is smooth and the bubbles are gone. Add food coloring until desired color is reached.

Dip one apple completely in the syrup and swirl it around a little with the stick to coat; you may have to tilt the pan at an angle to get the apple deep enough. Hold the apple over the saucepan to allow some of the extra syrup to drizzle off. Place the finished apple on the greased baking sheet with the stick facing up.

If sugar starts to harden before you are done dipping the apples, warm it gently over low heat until it liquefies.

Let apples cool completely before serving.

Sister’s Stew – Guest Post from Outlander Kitchen

This week we are doing a guest post swap with Outlander Kitchen, the fabulous blog that does for Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series what we do for Game of Thrones. We might wish we’d thought of it first, but she’s doing a terrific job, and every one of her recipes looks delicious. Naturally, we jumped at the chance to get in on the action. She chose to make some Sister’s Stew, and we sent her a venison stew recipe fit for the wilds of Revolutionary War era North Carolina, which you can read about here.

“The beer was brown, the bread black, the stew a creamy white. She served it in a trencher hollowed out of a stale loaf. It was thick with leeks, carrots, barley, and turnips white and yellow, along with clams and chunks of cod and crabmeat, swimming in a stock of heavy cream and butter. It was the sort of stew that warmed a man right down to his bones, just the thing for a wet, cold night…”

-George R.R. Martin, Dance with Dragons

Davos may be down on his luck, but a bowl of this saffron-kissed, creamy white chowder-on-steroids is bound to give him a little strength along with a flicker of hope. Thick with barley and hearty with cod, crab and clams, the stew is finished with butter, a classic french technique used to add richness and gloss.

Many thanks to my hosts, Chelsea and Sariann for their welcome at the Inn.

(Click on the title below for a printable version of the recipe.)

Sister’s Stew from Dance with Dragons

Yield: Serves 4-6

Olive Oil – 2 Tble
Leek, white & light green only, well rinsed & diced – 1 Cup
Carrot, peeled & diced – ½ Cup
Celery, diced – ½ Cup
Garlic, minced – 2 cloves
Pearl Barley – ¼ Cup
White Wine/Vermouth – ½ Cup
Clam Nectar – 1 Cup
Water – 3 Cups
White Turnip, peeled & diced – ½ Cup
Yellow Turnip (Rutabaga), peeled & diced – ½ Cup
Fresh Thyme – 2 sprigs
Whipping Cream – 1 Cup
Saffon Threads – pinch
Fresh Cod, in small chunks – 1 lb
Crab Meat – ½ lb
Clam Meat – 1 Cup
Butter – ¼ Cup
s+p – to taste

Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat until shimmering. Add the leeks, carrots and celery, and sweat until translucent, 5-7 minutes. Add the garlic and barley. Stir constantly until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Deglaze with wine/vermouth and reduce until almost dry.

Add the clam nectar, water, turnips and thyme. Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to the boil. Reduce to medium-low and simmer until the vegetables and barley are tender, 30-40 minutes. Remove the woody thyme stems.

Warm the cream gently in a small saucepan then add the saffron, rubbing the threads between your finger tips to break them up slightly. Stir the cream into the stew, then add the chunks of cod, crab and clam meat, as well as the butter. Cook for another 5 minutes, stirring gently once or twice, until the fish is opaque and the butter is melted. Season with salt and pepper.

Serve hot with plenty of freshly ground pepper and black bread.

Sept Holiday Buns

Sept Holiday Buns

This one is a suggestion for the next book, as they’re delicious, historical, and really cool looking. I wanted to find a Westerosi holiday that they could feasibly be baked for, but shockingly, GRRM only lists one holiday: Maidens Day.

That didn’t seem to fit my vision, so if he should read this, I’d suggest not only including these buns, but also a holiday for The Seven. King’s Landing needs all the celebration it can get!

The buns are fluffy, light, and quite rich, especially given the relatively small amount of butter in the recipe. They make a delightful breakfast bun, and are at their very best when still warm from the oven. The combined icing and currants sweeten the deal, while the density of the bun makes it a great way to start one’s day, or celebrate your fave deities.

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Ham with Cloves, Honey, and Dried Cherries

“Sad to say, the kitchens proved to have no wild boar on hand, and there was not time enough to send out hunters. Instead, the cooks butchered one of the castle sows, and served them ham studded with cloves and basted with honey and dried cherries. It was not what Cersei wanted, but she made do.” -A Feast for Crows

Ham with cloves, honey, and dried cherries

Our Thoughts:

Salty, juicy goodness. The sweet punch of a cherry. Slow drips of honey.

All this can be yours.

This recipe is so good that it nearly defies description. Even as someone for whom ham and pork generally hold little appeal, I still had 3 servings. It’s the kind of flavor combination that will keep you eating in an effort to really nail down a description. We at least had the excuse of writing this post, but you’ll have to come up with your own.

What’s more, this is a great way to sneak a little Westeros into your otherwise normal family holidays.

This tasty ham, followed by episode 2.2, and chocolate Easter eggs? WIN.

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Hangover Cures

Depending on how successful your premiere parties were last night, you might have the suffering today.

To celebrate the act of imbibing, and all those who brave the consequences, we’ve put together this list of Westerosi hangover cures. Some are mixtures from the books, some are medieval, and others are…born from our own imaginations.

Feel free to make your own suggestions, too!

Westerosi Hangover Cures:

Castle Black: walk to the top of The Wall.

Stark: go and stand in the snow

Tyrell: extract of blueberry and greens.

Greyjoy: drink more. A bit of raw whitefish and a few swigs of seawater.

Lannister: egg yolk in port or sherry, with honey and a chip of ice.

Arryn: fresh milk.

Dornish: whole spicy peppers.

Bolton: Demand silence and darkness. Take the tongue of anyone who speaks.

Maester Qyburn: licorice steeped in vinegar, with honey and cloves.

Maester Luwin: willow bark in warm beef broth, with plain oatcakes.

Red Priests: burn the offending bottles.

Warlocks of of Qarth: stick pins in the corks of the offending bottles.

Tyrion: A brothel.

Sandor Clegeane: hair of the dog.

Additional Reader ideas:

Braavos: raw oysters

Strong Belwas: Liver and onion smoothie

Dothraki Khal: Mare’s milk, stallion blood and slaughtering a whole Lhazarene village (good cardio).

And we're off!

We’re off to the kitchen to cook for our crazy, food-filled premiere party. We’ll be updating as we go with reports and photos (suckling pig!) on Facebook and Twitter, so keep an eye out.

Best of luck to you all with your preparations, festivities, and viewings.

Be sure to send us some photos! :)

Bread and Salt

“…[Once] a maiden girl could walk the kingsroad in her name-day gown and still go unmolested, and travelers could find fire, bread, and salt at many an inn and holdfast.”

Thoughts:

Bread and Salt are a staple of Westerosi culture and courtesy. They are the physical manifestation of the guest-right tradition, whereby anyone who receives such in a castle, inn, or home cannot be harmed while under that roof.

My version is loosely based on a traditional Russian bread. The salt is poured directly into the hollow of the bread, and each guest may tear off a piece of bread and dip it into the salt. The bread is like Easter bread (bring it to family gatherings!) in flavor and texture, but the taste with the salt is reminiscent of soft pretzels.

The inspiration credit for this goes to reader and commenter Random.

NB: Any spoilers related to this post will be deleted.

Bread and Salt Recipe

makes 2 large loaves

Ingredients

5 cups all-purpose flour, divided
1/2 cup white sugar
2 teaspoon salt
2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
1 1/3 cup milk
4 tablespoons butter
4 eggs, 2 left whole for baking into the dough
1 egg, beaten, for glaze

In a large bowl, combine 1 cup flour, sugar, salt and yeast; stir well. In a small saucepan, melt the butter, then add the milk. Remove from heat before it becomes hotter than warm; if too hot, it will kill the yeast.

Gradually add the milk and butter to the flour mixture while stirring. Add two eggs and 1/2 cup more flour and beat well. Add the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes.

Lightly grease a large bowl, put the dough in, and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.

Punch down the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into three equal size rounds; cover and let rest for 10 minutes. Roll each of the pieces into long rolls about 1 1/2 inches thick. Using the three long pieces of dough, form a loose braid. Divide this braid in half, then form each half into a round, sealing the ends together and tucking them under.

Cover your two whole eggs with butter or oil, then slip them carefully into the middle of each loaf. They should be tucked in about halfway. These whole raw eggs bake in the oven right along with the bread.

Place loaves on a greased baking sheet and cover loosely with a damp towel. Place loaf in a warm place and let rise until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Brush risen loaves with beaten eggs, and bake in for 45 to 55 minutes, or until dark golden.

Once the loaves have cooled somewhat, you can pull the egg out of the middle and fill the remaining divot with 1-2 Tbs. salt. The whole eggs will be somewhere between soft and hard boiled, and delicious with the freshly baked bread!

Doggie Bags and Placemats

This is less of a strictly “how-to” post than a sharing of ideas I just couldn’t keep to myself. For full instructions on these crafts, check the GoT party planning guide.

If you are planning a feast of any size for the Sunday premiere of Season 2, you may be dreading the thought of what to do with all those leftovers (if you weren’t dreading it, you should be). Fear not, noble cooks! Do as I do, and send it home with your guests in their very own…

Doggie Bags!

The shields are painted with basic yellow craft paint, and the hounds are stenciled on with a sharpie. Easy. Silly. Fun.

The next project is a bit more in depth, but equally fun. For this, we got several sheets of appropriately colored felt, and decorated them to look like the Westerosi house sigils. We felted ours together, but craft paint would also work well. Much of the detail is drawn on with multicolored sharpies. The result is…

Felt Placemats!

So there you go! Two easy crafts for a successful party.

Send us your cool ideas, and we’ll feature them in an upcoming post!

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