Bread-Pretzel – Gentlemen Bastards series

“Locke put up his hands and tried to stand up; one of Jean’s fists grew in his field of vision until it seemed to blot out half the world. The blow folded him over like a bread-pretzel. When he recovered something resembling his senses he was hugging a table leg; the room was dancing a minuet around him.”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

This recipe is slightly more of a stretch than I usually indulge in, but I really like pretzels, and they’re so easy to make at home. The addition of some darker flours, such as rye and pumpernickel, tweak the pretzels into something just slightly different than we are used to.

Serve the pretzels still warm from the oven. Not being a big mustard fan (sacrilege!), I love eating my pretzels with honey. :)

Recipe for Bread-Pretzels

Cook’s Notes: Although this recipe calls for several types of flour, you can also use plain, unbleached flour as a substitute for the quirkier varieties. This will result in a more American style plain pretzel, which is also delicious with a dusting of salt and some mustard, but lacks that slight otherworldly element of the recipe below.

Ingredients:

2 cups room-temperature water
1 Tbs. instant yeast
2-3 cups bread flour, plus more for kneading
1 cup pumpernickel flour
1 cup rye flour
2 Tbs. brown sugar
2 1/2 tsp. salt

Water bath:

6 cups water
2 Tbs. baking soda
toppings: try kosher salt, herb salt, caraway seeds, sesame seeds, parmesan, or a combination thereof

Mix together the water, yeast, sugar, and a cup of the flour. Add the salt, and continue to add flour until the dough has come together into a nice workable, mostly unsticky consistency. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead for several minutes, until the dough bounces back when poked. Place in a greased bowl, cover with a dish towel, and let rise until doubled in size, around 2 hours.

Divide the dough into around 16 pieces. Roll each of these into a long, thin rope about 1/2″ thick, and about a foot long. Twist into pretzel shapes, or into whatever shape you like, and set aside to rest. Repeat with all the dough. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and preheat the oven to 450F. Bring the water and baking soda to a simmer in a medium saucepan. Gently lower several pretzels into this water bath. They should sink to the bottom, but then gradually float up. Allow to simmer for about 30 seconds on each side, flipping half way through. Lift out and allow to drain on a cooling rack. Sprinkle with toppings while the dipped pretzels are still wet, and arrange on the prepared baking sheet.

Bake for around 12 minutes, or until the pretzels are a beautiful rich brown color.

Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Salted Peas & Lentils – Gentlemen Bastards series

“There were also salted peas and lentils as well as bowls of past-ripe tomatoes and pears. Poor stuff, in truth, but in a quantity and variety most of the Catchfire orphans had never seen before.”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

This is just the sort of warm, inexpensive dish that would fill the bellies of hungry children, and help win their trust.

There’s just a slight tang from the balsamic, which deepens the earthiness of the lentils. The salt, especially smoked salt, gives the legumes a simple flavor that the Catchfire orphans might not have previously enjoyed on scraps scrounged where they might.

Although the vibrant colors of the lentils and peas is muted somewhat after cooking, there’s still a bit of variation left, as you can see above; The chives help bring out the green of the peas.

All in all, this is a hearty side dish for a main meal, or a larger component of a bag lunch.

Recipe for Salted Peas and Lentils

Cooking: 30-40 minutes

Makes: about 6 cups cooked (it’s a lot!)

Cook’s Notes: This recipe makes so much that you may want to cut it in half, unless you’re feeding a slew of hungry orphans yourself.

Ingredients:

1 cup split green peas
1 cup Puy lentils
1 cup brown lentils
2 cloves garlic, roughly smashed
1 Tbs. kosher salt
(beef bouillon, to taste)
2 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
1 Tbs. olive oil
1 Tbs. salt for garnish (smoked salt is ideal)
1-2 Tbs. chives, chopped thin

Cover the peas and lentils with 3″ of salted water (adding some bouillon if you like), and simmer for 30-40 minutes, or until they are tender. Keep an eye on the level of liquid, adding more if needed. Drain. Toss with balsamic and olive oil, as well as extra salt to taste.

Top with sliced chives, and serve.

Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Roasted Capon w/ garlic, onions, grapes & figs

“So Locke scuttled about, embarrassment and relief mingled on his face. The meal was roasted capon stuffed with garlic and onions, with grapes and figs scalded in a hot wine sauce on the side. Father Chains poured all of his usual toasts, dedicating the last to ‘Jean Tannen, who lost one family but came to another soon enough.'”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

Delicious. It’s a dish that would be warm and comforting to a newly orphaned boy, yet different enough to showcase the culinary skills of the Sanza brothers and to take a reader into the world of Camorr.

The sauce, for me, was part of what made this dish sound so appealing. I’d been keeping an eye out for fresh figs, and when I finally found some, I knew I had to make this recipe asap. The final dish is a fascinating combination of sweets and savories. The onions and garlic infuse the chicken from the inside out, leaving the tender meat savory with flavor.

I wasn’t sure that the flavors of the stuffing would pair well with the sauce, but it actually works quite well. On its own, the chicken tastes of the stuffing, but with the sauce, and a bit of fruit, it becomes a sweet bite, all but overpowering the more savory elements.

Now I just need to sort out the Rock Eel smothered in a Caramel-Brandy Sauce… :)

Recipe for Capon with Grapes & Figs

Cook’s Notes: Capon, while different from chicken in flavor and texture, is not essential to the enjoyment of this recipe. Feel free to substitute a chicken!

Main Ingredients:

1 capon, or chicken
small onions, such as cippolini, pearl, or boiler, peeled
1 head of garlic, separated and peeled
2 Tbs. olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Sauce Ingredients:

1 cup seedless grapes
2 Tbs olive oil
6 fresh figs, sliced in quarters
1 cup red wine
pinch of grains of paradise, or black pepper
pinch of ground cloves
pinch of mahlep (optional, but tasty)
1 Tbs. honey
2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
1 tsp. red wine vinegar

Preheat the oven to 400F. Stuff the bird with the small onions and the garlic, then rub down the outside of the bird with olive oil, followed by a generous sprinkling of salt and pepper, which crisps up the skin. Roast in the oven for around an hour, or until the juice runs clear.

For the sauce, drizzle your olive oil in a medium sized frying pan, over medium-high heat. When the oil is hot, add the grapes. Cook, stirring for several minutes, until the grapes appear slightly wrinkled and cooked. Add the figs, and continue to stir for another minute more, but stopping before the figs start to fall apart.

To the roasted fruits, add the wine, spices, honey, and vinegar. Simmer this mixture until the sauce begins to thicken a bit, about 30 minutes or more. Serve as an accompaniment to the roast chicken/capon.

Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Ginger Scald – The Lies of Locke Lamora

“‘Conte, I do believe Master Fehrwight has just requested nothing less than a ginger scald.’

Conte moved adroitly to fill this request, first selecting a tall crystal wine flute, into which he poured two fingers of purest Camorri ginger oil, the color of scorched cinnamon. To this he added a sizable splash of milky pear brandy, followed by a transparent heavy liquor called ajento, which was actually a cooking wine flavored with radishes. When this cocktail was mixed, Conte wrapped a wet towel around the fingers of his left hand and reached for a covered brazier smoldering to the side of the liquor cabinet. He withdrew a slender metal rod, glowing orange-red at the tip, and plunged it into the cocktail; there was an audible hiss and a small puff of spicy steam. Once the rod was stanched, Conte stirred the drink briskly and precisely three times, then presented it to Locke on a thin silver tray.”

-The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Ginger Scald, vodka, ginger syrup, and pear brandy

Thoughts:

This, dear readers, took some doing. After several months of on and off trial and error, I ended up with two versions, neither of which was really satisfactory, to my standards. So there they languished, in the draft post. Until one evening, when I opened the post back up, scrapped both those recipes, and came up with the one you find here. I was especially driven to finish the post because, after tweeting about the difficulties of finding a hot poker, a package arrived in the mail from Andrew Cairns at Willowdale Forge with two such accessories. Finding myself thus enabled, how could I not follow through?

The breakdown:

The thick sugary syrup sticks to one’s lips and tongue, the concentrated ginger burning pleasantly. I tried several versions of a ginger oil, but they were, at best, completely unappetizing. Hence, the ginger syrup swap, the texture of which, I think, closely mirrors how a ginger oil would behave on the palate.

I hemmed and hawed over the pear brandy. It’s described in the book as being “milky”, but I’ve never seen such a creature. I did a few experiments to see if I could come up with a way to milkify my pear brandy, but the end results were not worth the effort, and moreover, detracted from the cocktail as a whole.

The last ingredient was also somewhat troublesome. It seems to me that it cannot be both a liquor and a cooking wine. Given the cocktail nature of the beast, I opted for liquor. Mind you, I also tried a radish-infused white wine (BLECH!), but it left a great deal to be desired. Instead, I’ve decided to go for vodka: it’s clear, and made from roots (potatoes). If you like, you can infuse the vodka with some sliced radish, but trust me when I say to go sparingly. Pretty much, let the vodka look at a radish, and that will be enough (or possibly too much…).

The end result is a decadent, ethereal cocktail that will knock your socks off. If you’ve scalded it, the cocktail will still be warm from the poker, and that physical heat transitions into the burning flavor of the ginger. Adding to that theme is the slight tone of burned sugar, while the pear flavor is much complimented by the ginger, and the vodka gives it an extra boost of intoxication.

It was described by my tastetesters as “exquisite”, “otherworldly”, “exotic”, and “amazeballs”. All in all, it’s just complex enough to be special, without being impossible to make.

Ginger Scald Recipe

Ingredients:

Ginger Syrup (see below)
Pear Brandy (if you’d like to make it)
vodka

Follow the written directions:

Into a champagne flute, pour about two fingers worth of ginger syrup. Follow this with a good splash of pear brandy, then a finger or so of vodka.

Stir the mixture vigorously to get the sugar up from the bottom; you’ll be able to see it swirl around as you stir. The top photo settled while I was shooting: Do as I say, not as I do! Once it’s mixed, you can sear it with the hot poker. See the note at the bottom on the crazy danger of hot pokers.

That bottom layer is the ginger syrup, which, if planning to sear, needs to be incorporated with the rest of the drink in order to be close enough to the hot poker. Get to stirring!

Ginger Syrup Ingredients:

2 cups roughly chopped fresh ginger
2 cups sugar
6 cups water

Combine ingredients in a saucepan, and place over medium heat. Allow to simmer for about an hour, at which point much of the liquid should have boiled off, and the remainder be a nice cinnamon sort of color. Let the mixture cool (nobody likes sugary burns!), then strain into a glass jar. It will keep for several weeks, and makes enough for around 10-12 cocktails.

Caution on handling Hot Metal

*Note* If you are planning to singe the cocktail with a hot poker, I really can’t stress enough the importance of being careful. If you let the poker touch the side of the champagne flute, it could explode. If you yourself touch the hot poker, you will be scalded. Also, do not do as Conte did, and wrap a wet towel around the poker- the moisture will translate the heat straight into your hand. Instead, use a heavy-duty oven mitt. Lastly, be warned that the cocktail will sputter, hiss, and jump all around, so keep a steady hand when you first plunge the poker into the drink. And please remember, friends don’t let drunk friends play with hot pokers…

Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Sausages and Pears in Oil – The Lies of Locke Lamora

“You two have just volunteered to cook dinner. Pears and sausage in oil, and a double portion for your new little brother…”

-The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

The Lies of Locke Lamora bursts with lavish settings, appealing to the senses with descriptions of the sights and smells of bustling Camorr. Set in a fantastic world of alchemy and clockwork, it also contains accounts of glorious, glorious food. This dish is one of four in a given meal when young Locke is first welcomed into the fold by the Gentlemen Bastards.

This is a tasty, if unexpected, pairing. The pears pick up the spiciness of the sausage, holding a slight crisp bite in their skins. The sausages, on their own, are delicious. However, when taken with a bite of the pear, the textures and flavors complement one another very nicely. The addition of balsamic tones down the oil somewhat, and rounds out all of the flavors brilliantly.

I recommend it as an Autumnal dish, as the spices and roasting will warm both you and your kitchen.

Stay tuned for the other elements of this same meal: black bean salad in mustard-wine sauce, fried chicken dumplings in gingery orange sauce, and red peppers stuffed with almond paste and spinach.

Recipe for Sausages and Pears in Oil

Serves 4

Prep: 15 minutes Cooking: 15 minutes

Cook’s Notes: As I sadly don’t have an alchemical hearthstone, I’ve had to make do. As a result, the sausages and pears are first seared in oil, then roasted in the oven to finish them off.

Ingredients

6 spicy pre-cooked sausages (chorizo, linguica, or hot Italian are all good choices), split in half lengthwise
4 firm pears, quartered and cored
1/2 cup olive oil, plus more for serving
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar, plus more for serving

Drizzle grill pan with 2 Tbs. olive oil. Sear the sausages and pears in for about 30 seconds each side. Lay the sausages in a pan, add the pears on top, and drizzle with the oil and balsamic vinegar.

Roast in the oven at 450 for about 15 minutes.

For an elegant presentation, spread an even, thin layer of olive oil on the plates. Onto this, carefully let fall droplets of balsamic vinegar until the plate is decorated. Arrange the sausage and pears to your liking, and serve.