Category Archives: Fictional

Bread-Pretzel – Gentlemen Bastards series

“Locke put up his hands and tried to stand up; one of Jean’s fists grew in his field of vision until it seemed to blot out half the world. The blow folded him over like a bread-pretzel. When he recovered something resembling his senses he was hugging a table leg; the room was dancing a minuet around him.”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

This recipe is slightly more of a stretch than I usually indulge in, but I really like pretzels, and they’re so easy to make at home. The addition of some darker flours, such as rye and pumpernickel, tweak the pretzels into something just slightly different than we are used to.

Serve the pretzels still warm from the oven. Not being a big mustard fan (sacrilege!), I love eating my pretzels with honey. :)

Recipe for Bread-Pretzels

Cook’s Notes: Although this recipe calls for several types of flour, you can also use plain, unbleached flour as a substitute for the quirkier varieties. This will result in a more American style plain pretzel, which is also delicious with a dusting of salt and some mustard, but lacks that slight otherworldly element of the recipe below.

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups room-temperature water
  • 1 Tbs. instant yeast
  • 2-3 cups bread flour, plus more for kneading
  • 1 cup pumpernickel flour
  • 1 cup rye flour
  • 2 Tbs. brown sugar
  • 2 1/2  tsp. salt

Water bath:

  • 6 cups water
  • 2 Tbs. baking soda
  • toppings: try kosher salt, herb salt, caraway seeds, sesame seeds, parmesan, or a combination thereof

Mix together the water, yeast, sugar, and a cup of the flour. Add the salt, and continue to add flour until the dough has come together into a nice workable, mostly unsticky consistency. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead for several minutes, until the dough bounces back when poked. Place in a greased bowl, cover with a dish towel, and let rise until doubled in size, around 2 hours.

Divide the dough into around 16 pieces. Roll each of these into a long, thin rope about 1/2″ thick, and about a foot long. Twist into pretzel shapes, or into whatever shape you like, and set aside to rest. Repeat with all the dough. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and preheat the oven to 450F. Bring the water and baking soda to a simmer in a medium saucepan. Gently lower several pretzels into this water bath. They should sink to the bottom, but then gradually float up. Allow to simmer for about 30 seconds on each side, flipping half way through. Lift out and allow to drain on a cooling rack. Sprinkle with toppings while the dipped pretzels are still wet, and arrange on the prepared baking sheet.

Bake for around 12 minutes, or until the pretzels are a beautiful rich brown color.

 Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Salted Peas & Lentils – Gentlemen Bastards series

“There were also salted peas and lentils as well as bowls of past-ripe tomatoes and pears. Poor stuff, in truth, but in a quantity and variety most of the Catchfire orphans had never seen before.”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

This is just the sort of warm, inexpensive dish that would fill the bellies of hungry children, and help win their trust.

There’s just a slight tang from the balsamic, which deepens the earthiness of the lentils. The salt, especially smoked salt, gives the legumes a simple flavor that the Catchfire orphans might not have previously enjoyed on scraps scrounged where they might. 

Although the vibrant colors of the lentils and peas is muted somewhat after cooking, there’s still a bit of variation left, as you can see above; The chives help bring out the green of the peas. 

All in all, this is a hearty side dish for a main meal, or a larger component of a bag lunch. 


Recipe for Salted Peas and Lentils

Cooking: 30-40 minutes       

Makes: about 6 cups cooked (it’s a lot!)

Cook’s Notes: This recipe makes so much that you may want to cut it in half, unless you’re feeding a slew of hungry orphans yourself.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup split green peas
  • 1 cup Puy lentils
  • 1 cup brown lentils
  • 2 cloves garlic, roughly smashed
  • 1 Tbs. kosher salt
  • (beef bouillon, to taste)
  • 2 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
  • 1 Tbs. olive oil
  • 1 Tbs. salt for garnish (smoked salt is ideal)
  • 1-2 Tbs. chives, chopped thin

Cover the peas and lentils with 3″ of salted water (adding some bouillon  if you like), and simmer for 30-40 minutes, or until they are tender. Keep an eye on the level of liquid, adding more if needed. Drain. Toss with balsamic and olive oil, as well as extra salt to taste.  

Top with sliced chives, and serve.

 Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Roasted Capon w/ garlic, onions, grapes & figs

“So Locke scuttled about, embarrassment and relief mingled on his face. The meal was roasted capon stuffed with garlic and onions, with grapes and figs scalded in a hot wine sauce on the side. Father Chains poured all of his usual toasts, dedicating the last to ‘Jean Tannen, who lost one family but came to another soon enough.'”

–The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch

Thoughts:

Delicious. It’s a dish that would be warm and comforting to a newly orphaned boy, yet different enough to showcase the culinary skills of the Sanza brothers and to take a reader into the world of Camorr.

The sauce, for me, was part of what made this dish sound so appealing. I’d been keeping an eye out for fresh figs, and when I finally found some, I knew I had to make this recipe asap. The final dish is a fascinating combination of sweets and savories. The onions and garlic infuse the chicken from the inside out, leaving the tender meat savory with flavor.

I wasn’t sure that the flavors of the stuffing would pair well with the sauce, but it actually works quite well. On its own, the chicken tastes of the stuffing, but with the sauce, and a bit of fruit, it becomes a sweet bite, all but overpowering the more savory elements. 

Now I just need to sort out the Rock Eel smothered in a Caramel-Brandy Sauce… :)

Recipe for Capon with Grapes & Figs

Cook’s Notes: Capon, while different from chicken in flavor and texture, is not essential to the enjoyment of this recipe. Feel free to substitute a chicken!

Main Ingredients:

  • 1 capon, or chicken
  • small onions, such as cippolini, pearl, or boiler, peeled
  • 1 head of garlic, separated and peeled
  •  2 Tbs. olive oil
  • salt and pepper to taste

Sauce Ingredients:

  • 1 cup seedless grapes
  • 2 Tbs olive oil
  • 6 fresh figs, sliced in quarters
  • 1 cup red wine
  • pinch of grains of paradise, or black pepper
  • pinch of ground cloves
  • pinch of mahlep (optional, but tasty)
  • 1 Tbs. honey
  • 2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tsp. red wine vinegar

Preheat the oven to 400F. Stuff the bird with the small onions and the garlic, then rub down the outside of the bird with olive oil, followed by a generous sprinkling of salt and pepper, which crisps up the skin. Roast in the oven for around an hour, or until the juice runs clear. 

For the sauce, drizzle your olive oil in a medium sized frying pan, over medium-high heat. When the oil is hot, add the grapes. Cook, stirring for several minutes, until the grapes appear slightly wrinkled and cooked. Add the figs, and continue to stir for another minute more, but stopping before the  figs start to fall apart. 

To the roasted fruits, add the wine, spices, honey, and vinegar. Simmer this mixture until the sauce begins to thicken a bit, about 30 minutes or more. Serve as an accompaniment to the roast chicken/capon. 

 Like this recipe? Check out the other recipes from the Gentlemen Bastards series!

Serpentine’s Restorative – Neverwhere

“Richard knocked back the green liquid, which tasted of thyme and peppermint and winter’s mornings. He felt it go down and prepared himself to try to keep it from coming back up again. Instead he took a deep breath and realized, with a little surprise, that his head no longer hurt, and that he was starving.”

–Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman

There is always a challenge in creating real world versions of food and drink that is probably mystical in origin. In this case, I wanted to include the elements in the description, namely the mint & thyme, and the green color. And then, if possible, I hoped to capture a bit of that restorative power.

Spirulina proved to be the key ingredient, as it gives the drink that Emerald-City-green, and the combination of protein, vitamins, and minerals helps restore what one’s body has lost as a result of over-indulging. The flavor is fairly pleasant, owing mostly to the mint and copious amount of honey (which helps keep the green powders in suspension).

This restorative beverage is lovely the morning after heavy drinking, but is also very effective when taken before going to bed. I personally recommend taking half warm before going to sleep, and chilling the other half for the morning after.

Recipe for Serpentine’s Restorative

Boiling: 10 minutes       Cooling: 15 minutes

Makes 1-2 servings, depending on your headache

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups boiling water
  • 2 Green Tea bags
  • 1 sprig each mint & thyme, crushed
  • 1 tsp. willow bark
  • honey, to taste, but at least 1 tsp.
  • 1/2 tsp. spirulina powder
  • 1/2 tsp. wheatgrass powder (optional)

Combine the tea bags and herbs in a small saucepan with the boiling water. Simmer for around 10 minutes, then remove from heat. Strain into a bowl, and stir in the honey while the liquid is still warm. Allow to sit until it is still warm, but cool enough to touch. Stir in the spirulina, and if using, the wheatgrass. Stir until it’s completely combined, and serve. , blend, and let sit for 10 minutes. Strain, chill and serve seriously ice cold.

Boeuf en Daube – To The Lighthouse

“An exquisite scent of olives and oil and juice rose from the great brown dish as Marthe, with a little flourish took the cover off. The cook had spent three days over that dish and she must take great care, Mrs. Ramsay thought, diving into the soft mass to choose an especially tender piece for William Bankes.And she peered into the dish, with its shiny walls and its confusion of savory brown and yellow meats, and its bay leaves and its wine and thought, This will celebrate the occasion…”
–To the Lighthouse, by Virginia Woolf

That above quote, mouthwatering in the extreme, is like an appetizer unto itself. As soon as I read it, I knew I had another dish to make.

This recipe makes a wonderful, hearty beef stew that is just perfect for the coming chill of late fall and winter. The olives provide an unlooked for earthiness that is sometimes lacking in other stews, while the orange zest lightens the whole dish. The meat is meltingly tender, having been both marinated and slow cooked. The broth was not as thick as I would have liked, but a simple roux would fix that easily enough. I simmered mine most of the day in a crock pot, which gradually gave the whole house a rich, enticing aroma.

I recommend pairing the stew with a nice loaf of rustic bread, some cheese, and either a hefty salad or a couple of sides, like potatoes and green beans.


Recipe for Boeuf en Daube

Prep: marinate overnight       Stewing: 6 hours
Makes 4 servings
Ingredients:
  • 2 lbs stew beef, cubed
  • 4 shallots, sliced thin
  • 3-5 garlic cloves, minced
  • small bunch fresh thyme
  • 1 -2 bay leaves
  • 1 bottle inexpensive red wine
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 3 strips smoked bacon, cut into small pieces
  • 1/4 cup dried mushrooms, chopped small
  • 1/2 cup chopped carrots
  • 1/2 tablespoon soft brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup olives, pitted and cut into slices
  • zest of half an orange
  • 1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes
  • Salt and Pepper to taste
  • splash of cognac (optional)

Marinade the beef with the herbs, shallots & garlic overnight in half of the red wine.

The next day, drain the meat, pouring the wine into your stewpot or crockpot.

In a large skillet, cook the bacon until it is somewhat crispy, and the fat has run from it. Remove the bacon and add to your main pot. Working in batches, add the seasoned beef to the bacon fat and cook until just browned on each side. Remove the meat to the pot, but keep the garlic and shallots cooking in the frying pan until they are soft and fragrant. Pour this mixture into the main pot, adding also the thyme, bay leaves, tomatoes, carrots, sugar, olives, zest, and remaining wine.

Cook on low for at least six hours, at which point the meat should be very tender. If you like, add a splash of cognac near the end of cooking.

Marilla’s Plum Puffs – Anne of Avonlea

“Well, never mind. This day’s done and there’s a new one coming tomorrow, with no mistakes in it yet, as you used to say yourself. Just come downstairs and have your supper. You’ll see if a good cup of tea and those plum puffs I made today won’t hearten you up.”

–Anne of Avonlea, by L.M. Montgomery

These are an almost impossibly easy-yet-delicious dessert.

The jam partially caramelizes into a sweet, gooey layer. Under the folded puff pastry, the fresh plums and jam ooze together, a warm flavorful filling. The slices of plums soften as they bake, and contrast wonderfully with the slight crunchiness of the sugar topping. They’re an amazing and impressive showcase of plummy goodness that’s great as dessert, but also turns out to be a very tasty breakfast, if there are any puffs left uneaten!


Plum Puffs Recipe

Prep: 10 minutes       Baking: 15 minutes

Makes 8

Ingredients:

  • 1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
  • 1 cup plum preserves
  • 2 plums, cut into 16 slices (each quarter, quartered)
  • 1 egg, beaten, for glazing
  • Turbinado sugar, for sprinkling on top

Spread out the puff pastry, and cut into 8 equal squares. Spread the plum preserves onto the pastry, the place two slices of plum onto half of each square. Fold one corner over, leaving about 1/2″ of the bottom layer showing. Fold the bottom corner up over the top, and seal with egg. Do the same with each Plum Puff, then brush the top of the pastries with the beaten egg. Sprinkle with a pinch of turbinado sugar.

Line a baking sheet with either parchment paper or a silpat. Arrange the pastries on the prepared baking sheet, and bake at 375F for 15 minutes. Let cool to at least room temperature before serving.

Rosehip Preserves – Farseer Trilogy

“I found the castle stirring but not yet fully awake. I ate in the kitchen as I had when a child, finding that there, as always, the bread was freshest and the porridge sweetest. Cook exclaimed to see me, one minute commenting on how much I had grown, and the next lamenting how thin and worn I looked. I surmised that before the day was out, I would be heartily sick of these observations. As traffic in the kitchen increased I fled, carrying off a thick slice of bread well buttered and laden with rose-hip preserves.”

–Royal Assassin, by Robin Hobb

I burned my tongue making this recipe.

Because I couldn’t stop licking the spoon as the mixture cooked. Seriously.

I know that some fictional recipes are quirky and fun, but not ideal for inclusion in the everyday lineup. However, this jelly is immediately going in my annual routine, and a lot of people I know are getting some for Christmas.

Rosehips are the red-orange seed pod that is left after the rose blossoms on a bush die off. Fresh, they are relatively soft and plump, although if you are lucky enough to find some that have overwintered, they will be further softened by the frosts. They have higher levels of vitamin C than oranges, and keep very well when dried. They also have a lovely, unique flavor.

Before adding the sugar, the rosehip puree has a tart earthy flavor. After the sugar, though, it becomes this slightly sweet, winey, decadent jelly that begs to be spread on fresh, buttered scones. For the photo above, I was eager to partake in the jammy goodness, which is why it’s still a big runny. I imagine this jelly would be wonderful on ice cream, scones, toast, sandwiches, cheesy crackers, pancakes, and anything else you can think of. 

Definite win!


Rosehip-Wine Jelly

Soaking: Overnight       Cooking: up to 1 hour

Makes ~1 cup jelly

Cook’s Notes: I opted for a jelly (rather than preserves) because my rose seeds were so tough; They would have made a terrible addition to a jam or jelly. With fresh rose hips, instead of dried, one would be able to scrape the seeds out much more easily. I’ll try that version as soon as I find some good rose hips!

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup dried rose hips
  • 1 cup red wine (I used a sweet red)
  • 1 cup water
  • 1/2 cup sugar

Soak the dried rose hips in the wine and water overnight. The next day, simmer the whole mixture in a saucepan until the hips turn soft. Strain the whole into a clean saucepan, grinding the meat of the rose hips until you’ve got only seeds left in the sieve, and all the pulp and juices are in the new pan. Place a small plate in the freezer. Add the sugar and simmer this mixture until it has thickened/reduced, and is bubbly. If you place a bit on the chilled plate, it should gel. That’s your indication that it is ready to be poured into a jar. 

If you are familiar with canning procedures, you can use then to great effect with this recipe. Otherwise, eat the jelly within a couple of weeks. 

Aunt Em's Doughnuts

aunt em's doughnuts

Thoughts:

This recipe is from an old family cookbook, but I’m not sure who “Aunt Em” is in the great family tree. So naturally, I’ve decided to also use it for the Wizard of Oz. Hey, a girl can dream! The original recipe was actually just a list of ingredients, without any instruction. I tried baking  a few, but quickly determined that frying is definitely the way to go.

 I made mini ones, about 4″ across, and at just the right temperature of oil (tricky!), they puff up and are great. The insides are soft and fluffy, while the outside just barely crisps. There’s a nice hint of the spices, but not so much that they overpower the lightness of the doughnuts themselves. I simply sprinkled a little powdered sugar over top, but they would also be great glazed!


Aunt Em’s Doughnuts Recipe

Prep: 15 minutes       Frying: 20 minutes       

Makes: around 20 small doughnuts

Ingredients:

  • 2 Tbs. butter
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 4 cups flour
  • 3 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. ginger
  • pinch of nutmeg
  • pinch of salt
  • Canola Oil for frying

Combine the butter and milk in a small saucepan, and place over low heat until the milk is warm, and the butter melted. Add the sugar and stir until that, too, is incorporated. Pour the contents of the pan into a heatproof bow, and allow to come back down to room temperature.

 Whisk in the eggs (if the liquid isn’t cool, the eggs will cook!), followed by the remaining ingredients. If you find that the dough is still sticky, continue adding flour until it becomes a cohesive mass of dough that can be picked up out of the bowl.

Flour a work surface, and roll out the dough to about 1/3″ thickness. Using a 4″ round cutter or glass, cut out rounds from the dough, saving the scraps to reroll. For the center cutout, the large end of a pastry tip works very well.

In a frying pan, heat your canola oil. If you have a thermometer, it should be about 375F. Drop the dough discs into the hot oil, taking care to not splash. The doughnuts should puff up almost immediately; when the first side is a nice golden brown, flip them. Remove from the oil when both sides are golden, and let drain on a plate with paper towels. 

Top with your choice of powdered sugar, glaze, or even jam, and enjoy!

Pumpkin Juice – Harry Potter

Thoughts:

The color!

I perused a lot of various pumpkin juice recipes online before starting this post, but didn’t find any that really leapt out at me. The closest had apricot juice; I have never seen apricots and pumpkins ripe at the same time! So I swapped the apricot for some seasonally appropriate apple cider, and spiced to my own preference. I also did something with my pumpkin juice that I haven’t seen done elsewhere. 

I let it ferment.

Not a lot, mind you, but just enough to give it a little fizz. The resulting juice is lightly sparkly, with subtle spicy ginger flavors overlaying the deeper pumpkin. Although it might seem that the juice is mostly apple cider, the pumpkin element is quite pronounced, enhanced by the cider, rather than overpowered by it. 

It’s pretty awesome. :) 

Pumpkin Juice Recipe

Roasting: 45 minutes       Straining: 30 minutes       Mixing: 10 minutes       Optional fermenting: 2-4 days

Makes about 4 cups of juice

Cook’s Notes: Don’t throw away that puree once you’re done draining the juices! Use it as pumpkin pie filling, as in this 17th C. recipe.

Ingredients:

  • 1 5 lb. sugar pumpkin
  • 4 cups apple cider
  • 1-2″ fresh ginger root, sliced thin
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • pinch of cardamom

Slice the pumpkin in half and scoop out the seeds and guts. Roast the pumpkin halves in the oven at 350F for at least 40 minutes, or until it is cooked all the way through, and soft. 

Puree with the apple cider, skin and all, then pour, in batches, into a fine sieve suspended over a large bowl. Allow the pumpkin to drain, stirring occasionally to allow as much liquid as possible to drain out. Save the pumpkin for another recipe, such as Pumpkin Pie or Pumpkin Pasties.

Simmer with remaining ingredients until the flavors are melded, about 10 minutes. Serve warm or chilled.

If you would like a little natural fizz in your pumpkin juice, cover the bowl with a dishcloth and let sit for a couple of days. It will develop a cloudy, bubbly top, which indicates it is fermenting. Allow to ferment to taste, and serve room temperature or slightly chilled.

Yam Candies – The Throne of the Crescent Moon

“Litaz said a silent prayer for the girl and worried over the limits  of her own healing-craft. She pulled a clay jar from one of the low visiting room shelves and scooped a handful of golden yam candies from it. The sweet, earthy flavor filled her mouth and calmed her. They were expensive, these tiny reminders of home, but there was nothing quite like them.”

–The Throne of the Crescent Moon, by Saladin Ahmed

These are strange little tasty candies. Yams are sweet to begin with, so turning them into candies makes a good deal of sense. I made a very basic version, without any spices, although I think a little cinnamon, or even a dash of maple would be a nice addition.

The result is a candy that showcases all the wonderful, earthy flavors of these tasty root vegetables. The initial sweet flavor is followed by the yam, and the color is the same vibrant orange of sweet potato fries. They’re quirky, unlike anything I’ve tasted before, and have enough of a sense of “other” to be a great fictional dish!


Yam Candy Recipe

Prep: 30 minutes       Cooling: 30 minutes

Makes ~24 small candies

Cook’s Notes: My candies came out a tad chewy, which I liked, despite the fact I was aiming for hard candy, as per Twitter guidance from the author. 

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup water
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 Tbs. light corn syrup
  • 1/2 cup roasted yam, pressed through a seive
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar, for dusting

Prepare your molds by greasing them lightly. (I used a silicone mold with multiple shapes.)

Mix together the water, 2 cups sugar, and corn syrup in sauce pan and bring them to a boil. When you’ve got some nice big bubbles, add the yam puree, stir vigorously to combine, and continue heating until the mixture reaches the soft crack stage, around 280 degrees F. When it reaches that temperature, spoon or pour the mixture into the molds as fast as possible. Set aside and allow to cool 2 hours.

When the candies are cool, turn them out into a pile of powdered sugar. Rub the sugar into each piece of candy, making sure that it’s fully dusted; this will help keep the candies from sticking to one another. 

The candies should keep in an airtight container for a couple of weeks.