Chelsea M-C

Fable – Crunchy Chick

JUST KIDDING!

But when life gives you adorable baby chickens, and you run a fictional food blog, how can you resist such a great photo? :)

Alright, so it was actually the local feed store clerk who gave them to me, in exchange for money, but I think the principle still stands.

This spring, we (I) decided it was finally time to add some chickens to the property. And when you’re going that far, you might as well throw some runner ducks in as well, because have you SEEN how hysterical they are? Plus, they can start making a dent in the tick population, which is pretty high this year. PLUS we get eggs! In, like, six more months…

I’d wanted to take a photo like this when the chicks were still tiny little puffballs, but they grow so crazy fast. The chicks are a little over two weeks old, and the ducklings a week younger. But the chicks have started to grow into itty bitty dino-chickens, and the ducklings love swimming in the bathtub. I can barely handle how cute they all are.

So without further ado, I’d like to present:

We had tried to go with a theme of ass-kicking chicks, which is how we got Buffy, Ripley, and Dejah Saurus, but after that it sort of fell apart. Warbeak is from the Redwall series, Hufflepuff was the friendliest chicken, and Gladys was… just sort of an old biddy from the start.

Yes, we have some names picked out for the ducklings, but we won’t know for a while if they are boys or girls, so we’re trying to hold off for now. Probable contenders include Brunhilda and Clementine for lady ducks, and Sir Francis Drake for a gentleman.

There’s a good bit more work to do to get the coop ready for its new residents, but I’ve whitewashed it, put down linoleum, and hired a local guy to jack it up a foot and refloor it, and engineering task that was just beyond me. It’s an old playhouse that hasn’t seen much use in recent years, so it’s nice to see it coming back to life!

Expect more updates in the future, because you know I just can’t help myself… ;)

Elder Scrolls – Balmora Cabbage Biscuits

While many dishes found in the world of the Elder Scrolls are unequivocably delicious sounding, some are a little quirkier. But, not one to shy from strange foods, I like to take a crack at them from time to time, and the latest project is this recipe for cabbage biscuits.

Although Balmora has since been destroyed, many Dunmer remember the good eating that could be enjoyed when visiting House Hlaalu’s stronghold. These humble biscuits make the best of limited Morrowind ingredients. Heavily textured, but lightly flavored, they are a great bottom for a variety of toppings (butter spread onto them while still warm from the oven trickles down into those cracks) or as an accompaniment to a hearty soup.

Balmora Cabbage Biscuit Recipe

Prep: 30 minutes Rising: 1 1/2 hours Baking: 20 minutes

Makes: about 16 biscuits

Pairs well with: sour cream; Combwort Confit (recipe forthcoming)

Ingredients

1/2 small green cabbage (~1 pound)
2 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. vegetable oil
Pinch black pepper
4 Tbs. salted butter
1/2 cup milk
2 tsp sugar
2 1/2 cups flour
1 egg
1 tsp. instant dry yeast
1 Tbs. heavy cream, for wash

Finely shred the cabbage using a food processor or a grater. Sprinkle liberally with salt and allow to sit in a strainer over a mixing bowl for 30 minutes to an hour. Squeeze out and discard the excess liquid.

Heat the oil over medium heat in a frying pan, then gently cook the shredded cabbage with the black pepper until slightly brown. Add to a medium mixing bowl, stir in the butter until it’s melted, then pour the milk over. Add the sugar, then the yeast, followed by the egg. Gradually mix in enough flour until you have a nice dough that pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Knead for several minutes, until it bounces back when poked, then cover and place in a warm spot to rise for about an hour.

Roll the dough out to roughly 3/4” thickness, then score the tops in a checkered pattern with a sharp knife. Cut into rounds and place on the baking sheet. Allow to rise again, this time for about 20 minutes. Brush the tops with heavy cream, then bake for roughly 20 minutes, until the tops are a golden brown.

Eternal Sky Series – Bansh, Mongolian Dumplings

“After a hand of days or so, Temur took up his new bow to bring food back to those fires–marmots, mostly , and the odd zeren gazelle, because he could not range widely enough or draw the bow strongly enough to bring down larger game. But whatever he brought was accepted gratefully, and in return the others shared with him what they had– dumplings, clarified mutton fat, salted butter, airag — fermented mare’s milk– from the bags that hung over the flanks of the cattle when the herds were on the move.” -Range of Ghosts

If you haven’t read any of Elizabeth Bear’s series, you should really fix that. She’s so ridiculously prolific a writer that there’s bound to be one in a genre you like. This one is a sprawling fantasy epic of… I’ll call it parallel history. The story takes place just after the peak of the Mongol empire, but there’s magic and skies that change depending on who rules under them, and a whole lot of other super cool stuff. But for me, it’s her descriptive writing and clever worldbuilding that most appeals. She even makes marmots sound tasty… mostly. And you know how I love my fictional food!

Temur, one of the main characters in the series, even names his horse Bansh – “dumpling”. It’s a somewhat ignominious name for what turns out to be an extraordinary horse, but in a way, it also fits. Dumplings such as this would have been a staple food item in Mongolian eating, essential for survival, just as it turns out the horse is.

I recently met someone who has been studying cheese around the world (I know, right?! Crazy cool.), including among the still nomadic Mongols. She told me how their cheese is dried on the outside of their tents until it is rock hard, and can only be sucked on or dissolved into tea. That tartness would pair so well with these dumplings, which are a bit greasy, but in the best way, richly flavorful. I made up a batch and fed them to my horse-mad husband along with some rice after a long day working outside. They were just what we didn’t know we needed.

Recipe for Bansh Dumplings

Cook’s note: caraway is a common ingredient in many recipes for bansh, but I didn’t have any on hand when I tackled this dish. Instead, I added a small amount of curry powder to give it that slightly other-than-expected flavor. It’s fantastic with lamb, but the beef version is pretty good, too.

For some awesome pairings, consider picking up some Ayran from your nearest Middle Eastern food store, or make up some Milk Tea. We also played some Mongolian throat-singing music to really complete the mood. ;)

Dough Ingredients:

2 1/2 cup flour
1 tsp salt
about 1 cup water
oil for frying

Filling:

1 lb. ground lamb or beef
1 small onion, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
salt, red pepper, curry powder, to taste
water

Mix up the dough by combining the flour and salt in a small bowl, then adding in just enough water to make a smooth dough. Knead for several minutes until it’s soft and pliable. Set aside to rest for about 15 minutes while you make up the filling.

Combine the lamb or beef, onion, garlic, salt, pepper, and curry powder in a bowl. Add just enough water to make it into a smooth paste.

Start heating your oil in a pan over medium heat, and begin making the dumplings. Divide the dough into 12 small pieces, and roll each into a bowl. Roll each ball flat and thin, no more than 1/8″ thick. Add a dollop of the filling, then fold over and crimp.

Full disclaimer: it turns out I’m just awful at crimping dumplings. I tried a few different styles, but settled on the basic potsticker approach as the easiest to do. There are numerous video tutorials on the subject, and I heartily recommend them.

Once the oil is hot and the dumplings are wrapped, set a few at a time in the hot oil. Mine started to hiss and spit a fair amount, so I covered the pan while they cooked some, which I’m guessing also helped steam them a bit. Flip occasionally so the dumplings are evenly brown, then remove to a plate lined with paper towel to drain.

They can also be boiled, but I love the crispy outside of a fried dumpling, so that’s what I went with. Extra tasty with some soy sauce for dipping.

Star Wars – Mandalorian Uj’alayi Cake

“So Kal Skirata– mercenary, assassin, and failed father– spent a stormy evening on Kamino sharing uj cake with six dangerously clever small boys who could already handle firearms and talk like adults, teaching them that they came from a warrior tradition, and that they had a language and a culture, and much to be proud of.” – Republic Commando: Hard Contact, by Karen Traviss, 2004

Uj cake, or Uj’alayi, was first mentioned in the novel Republic Commando: Hard Contact, by Karen Traviss, published in 2004. There’s not a lot of description of it, apart from sliceable, sweet, and flavorful. Combining that with the wiki description: “A flat, dense, and sticky cake, uj’alayi was made of crushed nuts, dried fruits, and a sweet spiced syrup known as uj’ayl“, I had something in mind, but to be sure I was on the right track, I asked the author and originator of the dish. She confirmed that she’d been thinking of Panforte de Sienna, which was pretty close to what I had in mind, so that’s the route I’ve taken. Isn’t social media amazing? :)

In the novel, we see Kal Skirata teaching several very young clone troopers about the Mandalorian heritage they have, and that includes the food. While some of it might be a hard sell to boys trained to be soldiers and nothing else, the uj cake smooths the way.

And no wonder. This dense disc of assorted fruits and nuts is held together with tangy molasses and honey, laced with rich spices. It’s the kind of treat that feels heavy with history and culture, as well, so I think it’s a great match for that delicious sounding Mandalorian treat.

Consider serving with either Cassius Tea or a steaming cup of Spiced Caf.

I’ve added this recipe to the lineup for Fictional Foodies’ May Star Wars lineup. Check out the other cool recipes folks have submitted here.

Uj’alayi Cake Recipe

Cook’s notes: This is the assortment that I put into my recipe, but if you are constrained by budget or availability of ingredients, just aim for 2 1/2 cups of nuts, and 2 1/2-3 cups of dried fruit.

Prep: 20 minutes Baking: 45 minutes Cooling: 45 minutes

Makes: 10-20 servings, depending on size

Location: Mandalore, Outer Rim Territories

Ingredients:

2 cups walnuts, roughly chopped
1/4 cup hazelnuts
1/4 cup slivered almonds
1/2 cup candied mixed peel
1 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup diced dried figs
1/4 cup dried currants
1/4 cup dried cherries
2 heaping Tbs. diced candied ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground mace
pinch each fresh pepper, curry powder
3/4 cup flour
2/3 cup honey
2/3 cup pomegranate or date molasses
2 Tbs. butter
confectioners’ sugar, for topping

Preheat your oven to 300°F and line an 8″ round cake pan with parchment and butter the parchment and the sides of the pan. If you have a springform pan, I think those work best.

Combine the nuts, candied peel, dried fruits, spices, salt, and flour in a mixing bowl. Stir to combine, making sure to break up any clumps of stuck-together fruit or overly large nut pieces.

Combine the honey, molasses, and butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring it up to a boil, and then keep cooking down until it reaches soft ball stage, about 245°F. Remove from heat and immediately pour into the bowl of nuts and fruits. Stir thoroughly and quickly to make sure the flour is all absorbed and the mixture is evenly covered, then scrape it all into the prepared pan. Press it down firmly with moistened fingers, then bake for ~40 minutes.

It won’t seem firm enough when it comes out of the oven, but let it sit for another 45 minutes, then run a knife around the edge to loosen it. Flip out onto a cutting surface lined with more parchment paper.

Uj cake can be wrapped tightly and kept for several months at room temperature. Slice into thin wedges to serve.

Winterfell Potted Salmon

It’s springtime, and the salmon are flinging themselves up the raging currents of the White Knife river that surges past Winterfell, and the bears are lining up for their freshwater buffet (how does hibernation work in Westeros, anyway?)

Even though the weather is taking a turn for the better, we know that winter is always coming, so it’s never too early to set aside some stores for later.

Unfortunately, this recipe is so delicious that it doesn’t last long at all. I’ll admit that I only had salted butter when I made this, and I’ll also readily admit that I’m a salt fiend. It was all I could do to stop eating the still-warm salmon in order to let it set for the photo. So yeah, salted butter works great too, but it depends on your taste for salt. ;)

Potted meats were historically a way of preserving the ingredients in a world without refrigeration. The “because they ate spoiled meat” argument for why so many spices are used in old recipes is ridiculous. It’s also a rant for another day. Suffice to say that medieval folks were no more inclined to eat bad food than we are, and they were often considerably more clever about how to go about preserving many of their ingredients, from meats to edible flowers.

The legacy of those techniques is this tasty little ramekin stuffed with all the salmony goodness of fresh fish packed into a little jar and preserved for a later day. Personally, I could put away one of these little treats just about every day for lunch.

Try it and let me know what you think!

Potted Salmon Recipe

Prep: 30 minutes Makes: 2-4 small servings

Pairs well with: the rest of the white wine, fresh grapes or other fruit, a spring picnic

Ingredients

1/2 lb. boneless salmon
1 cup vegetable stock
1 cup white wine
1 bay leaf
1/2 heaping tsp. dried juniper berries, crushed
pinch each allspice, ginger, smoked salt
1/2 Tbs. minced parsley
1 stick unsalted butter
crusty bread, to serve

Remove the skin from the salmon, if there is any, and discard. Set the salmon aside.

Combine the stock, wine, bay leaf, and spices in a medium pot with a lid. Bring everything up to a roiling boil, then remove from heat. Add the salmon to the hot broth, put the lid on the pot, and let sit until cooled, about 20 minutes.

When the salmon has cooled somewhat, transfer it to a small bowl and flake into small pieces with a pair of forks. Add in the parsley and a dash of the melted butter. Pack the salmon somewhat firmly into small jars or ramekins, then fill halfway up with the broth from broiling. Top off with just enough of the remaining melted butter that it covers the meat completely. Place in the fridge to set.

Should keep for at least several weeks in the fridge, but I doubt you can resist it that long. Let warm to room temperature before enjoying, and it’s great with lightly toasted bread.

Star Wars – Knockback Nectar

“The beverage was the color of hydraulic fluid and had spongy, bobbing, floating bits in it. It tasted of sour spit with an aftertaste similar to motor oil.” –Aftermath, by Chuck Wendig

I admit, based on that charming description, you might think I was mad to take on this particular drink. But I fell in love with the name, and couldn’t let it go. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about descriptions of food during my time doing fictional cooking, it’s that sometimes, an unfavorable description just reflects the strangeness of the food to the person encountering it.

So, although described by some in less than glowing terms, this one-of-a-kind beverage is actually rather tasty, once you get accustomed to it. Strong in every sense of the word, it’ll take your mind off the unsavory types surrounding you in Ergel’s Bar.

Knockback Nectar first appeared in the novel Aftermath, which was written by Chuck Wendig and released in 2015.

Update: I’ve added this recipe to the lineup for Fictional Foodies’ May Star Wars lineup. Check out the other cool recipes folks have submitted here.

Knockback Nectar Recipe

Prep: 5 minutes

Makes: 1 serving

Ingredients:

1 oz. peaty whiskey
1/2 oz. molasses
2 oz. hot black coffee
a few drops of sesame oil
small pinch white pepper

Combine all liquid ingredients in a shaker, and shake together vigorously for several seconds. Pour into a serving glass, and once the oil has risen back to the top, sprinkle on a dash of pepper.

Star Wars – Sweet-Sand Cookies

“Yes, I did sit down and talk surrender terms with Loathsom, over a cup of tarine tea. He became most ungentlemanly when he realized it was his surrender we were talking about. Have these people no manners? He didn’t even offer me a sweet-sand cookie.” ―Star Wars: The Clone Wars novel, by Karen Traviss, 2008

Not much is known about these cookies, but they’ve been mentioned in a few places, beginning with the novelization of the Clone Wars film. From that, we know that Kenobi was somewhat put out that Whorm Loathsom didn’t offer him any cookies during their surrender negotiations.

Since they’re from Christophsis, I suppose I should have added some blue to the sand topping, as the planet is covered with blue crystaline formations. Or, you know, used blue bantha butter, so the whole thing would have a blue tint. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about fictional cooking, it’s that there’s almost always room for improvement. And there’s always next time! ;)

Update: I’ve added this recipe to the lineup for Fictional Foodies’ May Star Wars lineup. Check out the other cool recipes folks have submitted here.

Sweet-Sand Cookie Recipe

Legends

Prep: 10 minutes Chilling: 30 minutes Baking: 10 minutes

Makes about 2 dozen cookies

Location: Christophsis, Outer Rim Territories

Ingredients:

1 stick salted butter
1/2 cup finely ground raw sugar
1/2 cup almond meal
1 egg
pinch ground vanilla
1 1/2 cup flour
sliced almonds, for garnish

For Sweet-Sand Topping:

1/4 cup raw sugar
1 Tbs. brown sugar
1 Tbs. almond meal
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbs. heavy cream

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

Cream together the butter and sugar, followed by the almond meal, egg, and vanilla. Gradually add in the flour until the dough is no longer sticky, and pulls together. Roll out on a lightly floured surface to about 1/8″-1/4″ thickness, then cut into discs. If you like, press some almond slices into the top of some. Move the cookies onto the prepared baking sheets, and place in the fridge to chill for at least 30 minutes.

Just before you are ready to bake, preheat the oven to 350F. Bake for around 10 minutes, until the bottoms and sides of the cookies are just starting to brown.

While the cookies bake, prepare your sweet-sand mixture by combining the sugar, brown sugar, almond meal, and cinnamon. When the cookies are done, allow to cool for around a minute, then brush the cream onto the hot cookie. Immediately dip each brushed cookie into the sweet-sand mix, tap off any excess, and set aside. Consider serving with some Tarine Tea.

Star Wars – Photon Fizzle

The Photon Fizzle is reported to be a fizzy green drink popular among diner-goers around Coruscant. It’s served at least at Dex’s Diner, where we see a large beverage dispenser of the stuff in Episode II:

For this version, I’ve opted for green dyed and flavored boba pearls to better match that photo from Dex’s. Add to that some ginger-mint syrup, some gin, and some ginger beer to give it the fizz, and you’re good to go! It does go especially well with some greasy spoon dishes, as the flavors of the drink help cut through the heaviness of the foods.

Alright, so it’s probably questionable whether or not a diner would be serving boozy drinks. But this name was just begging to be a cocktail. But if there’s enough demand for it, I’ll see if I can wrangle another version of it without alcohol, and I’ll get back to you… :)

Update: I’ve added this recipe to the lineup for Fictional Foodies’ May Star Wars lineup. Check out the other cool recipes folks have submitted here.

Photon Fizzle Recipe

Makes 1

Prep: 5 minutes Bubbles: 20 minutes

Location: Coruscant, Coruscant System, Core Worlds

First appearance: Episode II, 2002 (visual); What is a Wookiee?, 2005 (name)

Components:

ginger-mint syrup (see recipe below)
1/4-1/2 cup large boba pearls (tapioca, not Fett)
3 oz gin
1/2 fresh lime juice
4 oz ginger beer

Cook the boba according to package directions, then set to steep in the ginger mint syrup and food coloring for at least an hour.

Place the now-green bobas at the bottom of a glass. Combine 1/2 oz. ginger syrup, the gin, and the lime juice in a shaker with some ice. Give a few good shakes to chill everything, then strain into the glass. Top up with ginger beer, and enjoy!

Ginger Mint Syrup Ingredients:

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
1-inch piece ginger, sliced thin
~1/2 cup fresh mint leaves
green food coloring

In a small pot over medium heat, combine the water, sugar, and ginger, then bring up to a simmer. Stir occasionally until the sugar has dissolved, then remove from heat. Add the mint, then cover and allow to cool completely, about 30 minutes. Strain into a clean jar or small pitcher, add food coloring, and store in the fridge for up to a few weeks.

Winterfell Shortbread with Honey Caramel

Oh. My. Goodness.

Do you need a pick-me-up? Because if so, you’re in luck.

I imagine these incredible treats might be a seasonal delicacy at Winterfell, perhaps made to celebrate the opening of the Winter Town. The caramel might even be tweaked to include freshly pressed cider from that year’s harvest, or a pinch of spices after a year of successful trading.

The shortbread is soft and buttery, the caramel a bit firmer, but both melt in the mouth. The honey flavor in particular comes through strongly, and as it’s one of my favorite things in the whole world, that makes me very happy. A dash of sea salt on top balances the sweetness, so overall, it’s one of my favorite things I’ve made in quite a while. Yum!

Recipe for Honey Caramel Shortbread

Ingredients for shortbread:

1/2 cup sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup ground almond meal
pinch of salt
2 cups flour

Ingredients for Caramel:

3/4 cup honey
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup heavy cream
1 Tbs. butter
pinch of coarse salt, for top

Begin by making the shortbread: Preheat the oven to 350F. Cream together the butter and sugar, then add in the almond meal and salt. Begin adding in the flour until you have a good mix that holds together and is just shy of too crumbly.

Pat out on a baking sheet in a roughly rectangular shape no thicker than 1/2 inch; don’t worry if the edges look messy. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the shortbread is beginning to turn slightly golden at the edges. Remove from the oven, and while it’s still hot, make several cuts with a large knife to divide the shortbread into squares. Taste some of the trimmings to make sure they’re good. Allow to cool completely while you make the caramel topping.

Combine honey, sugar, and cream in a sauce pan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Stir occasionally while it cooks. Continue cooking until the mixture reaches soft ball stage, about 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the butter. Let sit, stirring occasionally, for several minutes, until the caramel starts to cool and thicken a bit. Using a large spoon, drizzle the caramel on top of the shortbread squares in whatever pattern you like. Personally, the more caramel, the better, but you can also zigzag drizzle it across.

There should be plenty of caramel for the amount of shortbread.

Eat the rest with a spoon. No regrets.

Star Wars – Protein-Enhanced Blue Milk

There is quite possibly no food or drink from the Star Wars universe more iconic than Blue Milk. This really bugged me for a while. Whenever I mentioned an interest in making food from the Star Wars world, the first thing people shouted was BLUE MILK! But… it’s just… blue milk, right?

But the more research I did, the more determined I grew to develop a more interesting recipe for that staple drink. We see it first in IV: A New Hope, and it’s later given a nod in II: Attack of the Clones, and lots of love in the Rebels series, not to mention comics and novels.

For me, a lot of the fun of making real recipes for fictional dishes is in the research. SW lore tells us that this is milk from Banthas, those great hulking beasts on Tatooine. It’s been used for everything from yogurt to ice cream, cheese to custard. That tells me it’s pretty commonly available, and versatile, and must taste pretty good.

In this recipe, the mix of milks gives it a decidedly different taste from ordinary milk with color added. I couldn’t find a bantha dairy, for some reason, but since they strike me as somewhat goaty, I opted for part goat milk. I think this version could be the more readily available commercial brand, with added protein to improve flavor and appeal. So, while the original might come from domesticated bantha on Tatooine, this recipe should hit the spot for those travelers in far flung corners of the galaxy, homesick for their native desert planets.

Update: I’ve added this recipe to the lineup for Fictional Foodies’ May Star Wars lineup. Check out the other cool recipes folks have submitted here.

Protein-Enhanced Blue Milk

Ingredients:

1 cup goat or cow milk
1 cup almond milk
2 tsp. arrowroot
1 Tbs. vanilla protein powder
Several drops blue food coloring

Pour half the milk into a small saucepan. Whisk the arrowroot into the cold milk, then, while stirring, gradually bring up to just under a simmer, when the milk is steaming but not bubbling. Remove from heat, and add the other cup of milk. Whisk in the protein powder, then strain into a clean container. Chill for at least 2 hours, and enjoy.

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